Beast: Hi beauty.
Beauty: Yo beast...I'm glad you're back. Well..pretty glad. Where'd you go?
Beast: I had a tough day at work..so when you made the disapproval face after I told you I stopped at moms to help out with the curtains...well that kind of set the course for a slide into the dark side.
Beauty: Your mom really annoys me and I can't believe you want to take her and your sister in law out on Mother's Day. That was just asking way too much.
Beast: You never did like my brother.
Beauty: He's an immigrant.
Beast: So am I.
Beauty: Yeah, but at least you went to college. he didn't even finish High school.
Beast: You know...sometimes you make me so mad... and that's why I had to leave and go for a walk.
Beauty: A walk! You didn't go for a walk. You went on an expedition. I'm surprised you didn't take your camping gear. You were gone for over two hours. I was beginning to get worried. I drove around the neighbourhood looking for you. Where we're you?
Beast: You were worried?
Beauty: Sort of.
Beast: Sort of?
Beauty: Where were you?
Beast: I got lost.
Beauty: You what?
Beast: I walked to the end of our development and then walked up Wilson all the way to Highway 21. That's when I decided to pretend I was a homeless person.
Beauty: A what?
Beast: It was a nice balmy sort of night, a light rain was falling and I just thought it would be nice to be homeless..just kind of keep walking, maybe get as far as California and forget all my problems.
Beauty: So..what happened?
Beast: Well I hadn't really stopped to think about it but the first thing I needed to figure out as a brand new homeless person was where I could pee.
Beauty: Huh?
Beast: Sure..You can't just pee anywhere. I was walking down a pretty busy highway and I thought if I stopped to pee in the bushes a policeman might stop me and I would end up in jail.
Beauty: It wouldn't be the first time.
Beast: Hey...let's not go there. Anyway, I walked by this little Italian Restaurant, peeked through the front window and saw no one at the counter so I just walked in and used their bathroom. I was very thoughtful however. I didn't even use one of their paper towels.
Beauty: That was considerate. Then what happened?
Beast: So then I continued up Hwy 21 and made a right onto 150 East towards Mooresville. I pretended that I was a kid and had run away from home.
Beauty: (Does the eye roll)
Beast: It was kind of fun. I was hoping you would be worried and then think maybe I was dead on the road somewhere and you would be sorry about everything you'd said about my mom. I continued up 150 to McLellan and then turned right. By then I had walked at least two miles and it was getting dark and spooky but I wasn't scared. I thought of the scene in Big Fish where the kids run up to the house of the one eyed witch. I kept thinking there might be a street that turned right and then led back to our development but there wasn't and so I decided to continue all the way to Main Street and then make a right.
Beauty: That's another couple of miles.
Beast: Tell me about it. My legs are sore. Anyway..that kind of sums it up.
Beauty: Did you realize you were walking right through the really bad part of town. That was dangerous.
Beast: I know. I heard gunshots.
Beauty: (Shaking here head) Well I'm glad you made it back safe and sound...I think. Anyway, we can talk more about Mother's Day...but we are not taking your brother!
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